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Artwork by Syd Danger

“powerade” by Ivanna Baranova

to say i know some things
in a way of saying
i know many things

to say i know many things
in a way of saying
fuck me

and the stale
intellectual tendency

this is about the kilogram of mdma
rick had manufactured before
it was criminalized

dedications
from the underground

packed
in little swiss bags

filled
with little lab capsules

no
labels

i am high on mdma

i am in a bed
and i am high on mdma

i am in a bed
                  in an office on kingsway
                  and i am high on mdma

there is a
blue acid blanket
of porta potty chemicals
                 hopscotching the taste buds
                 on my cold red tongue

i spit purple
i blend my jaw

i am presiding
over a chorus of angels

you
are the most
beautiful person
on earth and i love you

i say to the vision
of my sister
                        who floats
          inward then away

i dissolve

i am a metonym
              or is it metronome
              or is it mimetic mimetic device

i identify with one word
              at the expense of possible
              identification with all other words

every lexiconic mouthful
betrays me

sync up

sync out

dissolve                    dissolve dissolve

a boy i love tonight
holds his palm to my chest
to push the breaking further in and in and out

i am high on mdma
on a saturday night
and

i am not at the party

i am high on mdma
on a saturday night
and

i unbecome the party

i am high on mdma
riding down
hallways
in office
chairs
to
sidestep
the stream of fainting

i am
in real life mario kart
and i like it

the other
day

on a small
dirt trail in alberta

i lost
balance

i fell
down a cliff

my body
landed in the bow river

i call charlotte during
the after and in the afraid

she says
to consider the possibility
of existential dizziness

as a catalyst
for falling into the river

as a catalyst
for slow dying blah blah

i am wet
and also i am tired
of considering the possibilities

i am just like the other women
in all the other poems

tired       wet considerate

powerade pour another acid
blanket on my tongue

powerade pour another acid
blanket on my tongue

tuck me in with the chorus
of angels ok?

i love you

and you are the most
beautiful person
on earth


Ivanna Baranova is a Brooklyn-based writer. Her work has appeared or is forthcoming in Montreal Review of Books, glitterMOB, The Puritan, Peach Mag, Poetry Is Dead, Hobart, ÄLPHÄ (Metatron Press), and elsewhere. Find her online @internetfantasy and ivannabaranova.com.

Syd Danger is an illustrator and designer living in Vancouver BC, with her two cats and many dead plants. You can see more of her works at www.syddanger.com.