Interview by Matthew Kok
Beni Xiao is a nanny and writer based in Vancouver, BC. They are tired all the time, so they would appreciate if you’d let them sleep. Bad Egg, Beni’s new chapbook, is full of quiet, important things. There is a garden of variety in these poems, and the chapbook is drawn together by the strength of Beni’s voice. The effect is a lot like having a small bug perched in your ear, joking, encouraging, asking. They are willing to go with you into storms. They will not lie and tell you your impact on the world is going to be anything other than what it is. They will tell you about the hard, strong thing we all need to be sometimes, and as they describe it you may believe it is you—it may depend on the day, or whose limbs you’ve found crossed over your own, but the bug will say it for you if you can’t. There is a whole world of people who will speak around the important things rather than to them, or ignore the strange and the wonderful, but none of them are in this chapbook. You should start listening to Beni Xiao—I promise it will be worth it.
1. What’s happening around you—either right around you or outside of where you are?
It’s 12:22 a.m. and I’m writing this at my dining room table. My place (and me) are cold. There is a plant on the table next to my computer that needs to be repotted, but until I get around to that it is taking up way too much space on a table it shouldn’t even be on. The pot it will be moving into is on the floor next to the table. I am cold, and I am offended that it’s almost April and the weather is still shit.
2. Is there a public space you’re fond of? Describe it.
No, all I do is sleep I don’t go outside.
3. Why do you live where you live?
My roommate and I rent the ground floor of a Vancouver Special in Fraserview, because it is what we can afford. (We! Are! Poor!) Imagine: having windows.
4. What are you looking forward to this week?
Sleeping in! I’m a nanny, and I’ve been working early all week because my nanny kids are on their spring break. I’m also extremely excited to do my laundry and sleep on fresh sheets! I guess I’m just excited to be in bed!
5. Do you have any “vices”? What’s the relationship between your vices and your writing?
I’m terrible at self-care which I think translates into my poetry in that I am always writing about being bad at self-care.
6. What’s the first story or poem you remember writing, and how does it relate to your current work?
When I was in tenth grade, I wrote a story about a teen named Gwendolyn who finds out she is a fairy. It was actually somehow worse than it sounds. Writing it made me realize I’m utter trash at narrative, and that is why I write poetry.
7. What’s one risk you’re glad you took?
I kind of have a reputation for being a “funny poet,” so I have occasionally been asked to do comedy events. In the past I have declined these invites, or agreed only if it was alright to read poetry instead of do stand-up. Recently though, I decided to try doing stand-up, and it wasn’t a huge train wreck! I had a nice time. I’m not sure that it is something I will dive into or do often, but I am definitely glad I tried it out, and am very open to doing more in the future.
8. Is there any advice you like ignoring?
When people tell me to write with pen and paper!!! How tf am I supposed to edit! Also, I can lose paper and notebooks but I can’t lose Google Docs.
9. What’s your morning routine?
Groan as seven different alarms go off. Roll out of bed at the time I’m supposed to leave the house. Brush teeth and wash face. Apply skincare. Rush to work.
10. What advice would you give an aspiring or emerging writer?
a) Go to events! Not only is it enriching to see what those around you are creating, it is also worth your time to meet like-minded people. My artist friends have been so supportive of me as a writer and person, and I am extremely grateful for the nurturing relationships that I have developed with fellow writers in my community. On the cold-blooded side of that: networking is going to help very very very much in your career. A lot of the opportunities I have personally been presented with were literally because I knew people.
b) Relax. Stop trying so hard.
11. What are you most proud of?
A friend of mine in the Creative Writing BFA at UBC told me that for a poem analysis project in their poetry class, someone analyzed my work. That program rejected me twice, and not even two years later, my work is being studied in their classes: #powermove. Also, Dina Del Bucchia called me a “style god” last week so I’m pretty proud of that.
12. Do you have a favourite word? Or a least favourite word? What is it and why do you like/dislike it?
I like “freckle.” Freckle sounds like a freckle looks. And I like freckles.
You can find Beni Xiao online @verysmallbear.
Matthew Kok is a writer. He lives and works on the unceded traditional territories of the Musqueam, Squamish and Tsleil-Waututh First Nations. He is a prose editorial assistant at PRISM international. He has poetry available in The Scrivener Creative Review and the Lampeter Review, and he is currently working on a memoir that braids his own stories with those of his family’s previous generations. He thinks the stories we tell make the world into the stories we tell. He likes the cut of your jib, kid.