Home > Issues > PRISM 50.1 Fall 2011 > The Disney Princesses by Susan Holbrook

The Disney Princesses outnumber you.
The Disney Princesses are stuck to pencil cases, socks, toothpaste, bandages.
Soon they will appear on dogfood and pink insulation. The next time you go to your mechanic he will offer you the
     Disney Princesses timing belt.
Dykes worry their daughter will get teased about hemp overalls and soy sandwiches, so they buy her the Disney
      Princesses backpack, overcompensating.
But even if you wanted to shield your child from the Disney Princesses, you couldn’t. Someone will lend her a Disney
      Princesses eraser, and she’ll be hooked, because the Disney Princesses are like crack or PEZ.
The Disney Princesses appear in threes, blooming from fused hips.
The Disney Princesses stick together, at least the white ones do.
The Disney Princesses are Charlie’s Angels without the guns.
I’m offering for sale a brand new Pink Disney Princess Flip-Open Slumber Sofa. When it is in the sofa shape, it has
      Cinderella,Snow White and Sleeping Beauty on the front. When you open it to sleep on, the blanket has Cinderella,
      Snow White and Belle on it. The entire cover can be unzipped and laundered.

The Disney Princesses don’t wear pants.
The Disney Princesses are post-feminist.
I’ve never seen Jasmine, Mulan and Pocahontas together on snowboots.
The Disney Princesses are not ideological.
The Disney Princesses love you a lot, as long as you are a girl.
The Disney Princesses have an anthem.
It says there’s a place where hope and dreams can last for all time.
In other words, the Disney Princesses would rather never be satisfied.
Each Disney Princess has a male love interest, but he never appears on the thermoses or underpants.
The Disney Princesses prefer hanging out on your pillowcase talking about hope and dreams with you.
That way you and the Disney Princesses can love each other, but it won’t look suspicious.
The Disney Princesses do not associate with Barbie; they are virtuous maidens from days of yore and Barbie keeps
     gynaecological appointments on her Blackberry.
The Disney Princesses had oatmeal and quail eggs for breakfast. Barbie had a diet pill and a grape poptart.
The Disney Princesses just titter at Hannah Montana. Soon she will be a human woman, and her wall of socks will
      come tumbling down.
The Disney Princesses can be unzipped and laundered.
The Disney Princesses have a rubber backing.
The Disney Princesses may warp in the dishwasher.
Do not inflate the Disney Princesses.
The Disney Princesses are a choking hazard.

3 Comments, RSS

  • Fa Mulan

    says on:
    January 5, 2012 at 3:16 pm

    What’s your point? I’m getting mixed signals here. First the Disney Princesses are bad because they only like girls and they’re… racist? Is that what you’re trying to say by “I’ve never seen Jasmine, Mulan and Pocahontas together on snowboots.”?
    But then they’re good because they eat better than Barbie, and because apparently Barbie keeps gynecological appointments on her blackberry, and they help lesbians with daughters help their kids not get teased. (First of all who says that a girl with a lesbian mom is going to get teased at all? But that’s a different battle.)
    Be clearer please 🙂 I would find your writing much more enjoyable.

  • GLC

    says on:
    January 17, 2012 at 8:21 pm

    I think it’s enjoyable the way it is—really funny yet sober and all sterilized-feeling like a Disney Princess.
    It doesn’t need to have a point. The expression of these observations is enough, and if it has to have a conclusion, it is left to the reader’s own imagination. I love poetry/art like that when it’s open to interpretation….but to me it seemed like a display of the superficiality of it all. The lack of realness—a choking hazard! Love it.
    A writing teacher once explained to me the value of “showing” rather than “telling” the reader, and to me this poem is great because it’s all about showing us through descriptions. It’d be a lot more boring if she wrote “The Disney Princesses are bad because …” don’t you think? Why should the writer have to give you a conclusion? Her words are descriptive and vivid enough. Use your imagination!

  • Roe

    says on:
    December 23, 2012 at 8:29 pm

    Shhhh, go back to sleep.